THE FRESH PAGE ISSUE
THE FRESH PAGE ISSUE
For Those Of Us Who Love a Back to School Mindset ✏️
It’s my favorite time of the day, twilight, the hour or so right before the sky goes dark.
I turn to my right to say something or another to my husband and immediately have to deadpan an insufficient, “Woah,” as my eyes catch the rising Harvest Moon.
For me, it’s hung above the East River, and from here, it appears to be only feet away from the twinkling rooftops across the way in Astoria. It’s a full moon, perfectly rounded; surely, this exact moon has been painted in a children’s book. It glows a light orange and the craters look like they could hold oceans.
As I sit here with my jaw agape, I grab my phone to switch the song on my evening playlist — it doesn’t fit my mood. The song that appears? A melody by Luna Novina named Aeterna.
I smile to myself at the synchronicity + look up what Aeterna means.
“The Latin word aeterna is an adjective that means eternal, everlasting, imperishable, or perpetual.”
I ponder what in my life I’d consider truly eternal. I then think about the laundry list of things that aren’t —
the taste of chili Doritos my husband and I greedily devoured on our honeymoon, licking our fingers until the dust was gone. how my sister and I shared a bed in middle school just so we could fall asleep watching TV together. how I’d dutifully recite my prayer as the eldest child + giggle as she simply said, “Ditto.” that same sister and I clunking our heads together because we were overly excited shouting how we were going to add the littlest sister to our battalion. how we adored her as soon as she was brought home, fighting for years over who could hold her hand while dancing. the heartbreak I felt when I couldn’t manipulate life to take others’ pain away. to take my pain away. the afternoons I made up cheer routines with my friends in the backyard of my childhood home. the tears that streamed down my face and into my ramen on my first day in Boston — I missed my family so much. dancing until my body was sore at my best friend’s wedding. the last shot I took at my college bar. dancing in the rain to Tim McGraw. my grandparents on a boat zipping through our favorite chain of lakes with beaming smiles. the freedom I felt jumping into the waves at Lake Michigan — a high I’d love all my life. the first kiss. that time I fell out of an Uber and got pebbles wedged into my hand. when I hangrily tried escargot for the first time + feigned interest. the smell of jasmine surrounding me as I swam in an icy pool. petting my puppy’s pudgy belly. belly laughing with my friends on a road trip. my parents youth. my own.
None of those things are eternal, but when I think about all of them — the good, the tough, the ugly — I smile.
Every time September rolls around I get excited for life anew. What could happen? What can I create? What will arise because of a small step I took toward becoming my own muse? Perhaps a naive thought, I giddily think that the world is my oyster. What if I could feel that exultation again? The strength I’ve been chasing? What if I added a few change-ups here and there that, while not eternal, could make this one life I have feel so used?
Like the moon, we’re not always full. We wane and go through periods of darkness…but when we rise, wow, do we rise.
Triumphantly. Stoically. Enough to Hold Oceans.
It’s a reminder that just because something isn’t eternal doesn’t make it not worth pursuing. In fact, it’s what makes the opportunity to make this one wild and precious life beautiful, so, well, beautiful.
I feel the crisp turning of a new chapter tonight… do you?
Love,
Kayli
Poem by Fanny Howe // Jasper Conran’s Living Room // View from the Darling Rooftop in NYC // September on the Charles River // In Nature // Argosy Old & Rare Books in NYC
There’s something about September that makes so many of us want to turn to a fresh page in the book of our lives. It’s a month that seems to walk into the room quietly yet commands all of the attention. She’s saying,
“The opportunity is here if you want it.”
“You don’t need to, but you’d be better off if —”
“It isn’t too late…”
I realize that when the month of the Fall Equinox rolls around I usually find myself evaluating these areas of my being:
1. Self
My mind, body, and soul.
2. Space
Are the spaces I spend most of my time nurturing?
3. Dreams
Am I making time to dream? Am I contributing to the realization of those dreams?
Some ways I refresh these areas come September…
“Don't limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” - Mary Kay Ash
- In a perfect world, I don’t stroll within the first 30 minutes of waking up and have my phone plugged in at least two hours before I hit the hay.
- Morning pages always help clear my mind. They’re the brainchild of Julia Cameron in her seminal guide The Artist’s Way. The idea is to write 3 pages of stream of consciousness first thing in the morning. These pages aren’t meant to be works of art or great reflection! It’s just the act of getting out whatever’s on your mind — the milk you need to buy, the fight you had with your mother 3 years ago, the fucked up dream.
- Move!! Not hitting the gym (though that’s great, too) but dancing while you brush your teeth, shaking when you feel stagnant energy, and giving yourself the gift of a biiiiig cat-like stretch in the morning can do the mind wonders.
- Challenge negative thoughts. Whenever I think a mean thought I attempt to think a kind thought right after. This is a practice I’d like to get better at! Ex: “There is no way I’ll land that partnership,” becomes “I am already worthy of that opportunity. I create meaningful content.”
- Therapy, working with a coach, or finding another avenue for working through challenges or roadblocks. If you’ve been wanting a safe space to share your feelings or work through a tough chapter, I highly recommend finding a therapist if possible. There were times I also struggled with career roadblocks, desired space for spiritual work, etc., and finding avenues for working on those things provided so much mental healing.
- I’m such a big fan of EFT (tapping) that I got certified in it! One can use tapping to help feel more confident, work through stress, or tackle shame. The Holistic Psychologist has a good explainer video, here.
- Creating a list of anything I’m working through or feel the need to discuss with my partner is huge. I am a list girly through and through + sometimes you just need to get it all out on paper so it’s out of your head.
- Eat the Frog. Eating the Frog = Doing the thing you’re most dreading first! It will freeeeee your mind.
- Regularly practicing affirmations helps to create new neural pathways that aid in manifesting the mindset you desire. Ex: “I am a calm person who exudes peace.”
“And I said to my body, softly, ‘I want to be your friend.’ It took a long breath and replied, ‘I've been waiting my whole life for this.’” - Nayyirah Waheed
- This September, showing love to my body is a major area of focus. In this chapter, that means more weight training and upping my protein intake. Defining how you want to feel is a great place to begin + then, if you feel called, you can go from there to create a plan that feels right to you.
- Every September, I go to all of the appointments. My Annual Wellness exam, see my dermatologist for my yearly skin checkup, trek to my ob/gyn, have my teeth cleaned (a big ugh for me), and I’m pleased to announce after three years of trying, I finally got into a reputable endocrinologist for my PCOS. Go Team!
- Walking over taking the subway a few stops + choosing the stairs over the escalator seem obvious, but small movements do add up! Plus, you might run into a friend or a neighbor — a plus for this extrovert.
- Telling your body how appreciative you are of her + how deeply you love her regularly.
- Meal Planning! Meal planning not only means I’ll show my body love through nourishment, but it also helps my mind so much. Few things stress me out more than not knowing where my next meal will come from. :-)
- No more wearing clothes that don’t fit and donating the ones that don’t make you feel your best. It’s your clothes job to fit you! Not your job to fit your clothes.
- As we discussed, here, walk around your home without clothes when able + look lovingly at your body parts. Shimmy, dance, touch your body praising how beautiful they are + all of the times it has got you through.
- Many of the rituals I’ve done for my own self-care over the years have become so commodified — something that
also touched on here. So much so that I hesitate to write this one, but the sauna for stress reduction and a cold plunge for temperature regulation has done wonders for me. I know these are *trendy* practices right now and, therefore, can be wildly overpriced, but a cold plunge can be wading into a lake near your home in the mornings or a cold shower. You don’t need an ice bath installed in your backyard! Also, please consult a trusted medical professional before beginning these practices! I’m not a doctor, just someone who has benefitted from both modalities + am trying to do them more often.- Vitamins. Take them. Right now, I’m using these.
- Probiotics. It helps to take these too for immune function, digestion, inflammation, and more. This brand is my favorite.
- Limiting stress. For me, this looks like saying “no” unless it’s a “hell yes,” only prioritizing relationships with people that bring me joy, not living beyond my means, etc. Decide what limiting stress looks like to you.
“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.” - Leonard Cohen
- Being in community is so important. I schedule time with friends, add any events I’d like to attend to the calendar, and make any reservations for date nights I want to go on with my husband. Fall is often a hectic time so it helps to have these things scheduled + fills my cup when the time comes.
- Meditation. Meditating helps with my anxiety and can really create so much peace. This can look like sitting in silence, following a guided meditation, or taking a sensory walk like we chatted about here.
- You all know how much I love my digital detoxes. I find the less I’m on social media, the more space I have to come up with creative ideas and also do other things I love, like read!
- I’m a big fan of flower essences. I keep one that I’m working with next to my bed and take a few drops on my tongue with corresponding affirmations each morning. Recently, I finished my bottle of The Spiral Path’s collaboration with the wonderful
and found it incredibly nurturing.- Making more time for things that light me up! This year, I’ve found I’ve read so much more + strolled/watched TV a lot less. I don’t villainize anything I do (strolling isn’t inherently bad!) but this month, I’ve realized I’m doing a lot more of it + miss my TBR pile. I also plan on signing up for French classes, too, + am so excited!
- Following the Nudges. If you’ve worked with me / are friends with me / have ever asked me for advice, you likely know my mantra is “do the next right thing.” I want to be more committed to following the nudges / ideas I conjure up all the way through — which can be a practice for this Projector!
- I think being spiritual is a way of going about life + want to reiterate that you do not need to pull oracle cards, attend moon circles, practice yoga, or fit any preconceived idea of what a “spiritual person” looks like to be one. However, I’ve felt called to resume a more regular practice lately and look forward to this season.
Any NYC gals who’d be up for a monthly women’s circle?? Or virtual friends that would want to meet online? Let me know by replying to this email or in the comments!
- Gratitude. Think of 3 things you’re grateful for upon waking, write evening gratitude lists, go on your lunch time walk and notice everything you’re thankful for.
- Factoring in time for myself! September-December seem to be the busiest months of the year for us. Everyone’s back in NYC + events and plans are in full swing. I love it and also know if I’m out every night I’ll dread everything… factoring in days on the calendar with time to just be is a must!
“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” - William Morris
- Tending to my home has come up in a big way this September! We’ve lived here for a year and there’s one corner we still haven’t tackled that I suddenly need to. This could be a great time to paint the walls, hang the picture frames, or invest in a new candle to make your home cozy for the months ahead.
- Keeping our home clean is always a priority because I simply struggle to function in a messy space. Just like Spring Cleaning, doing a deep clean in September prepares you for more evenings indoors + energetically says, “I have the room for new opportunities to come my way!”
- Donating or putting things you don’t need to use into storage. It feels so freeing.
- Energetically cleaning the space. Ringing a bell, using smudge spray, or another medium, open the windows and begin to thank your home for all its done to serve you. Ask that anything that no longer serves you, or any energy you picked up that wasn’t yours to carry, be sent back to the Earth to be blessed, transmuted, and transformed for the greater good.
- Make things you love to do easily accessible. Ex: If you’d like to paint more, find a way to store your materials in any easy to access spot. I recently found a wall hanging bookshelf that has been amazing — prior to that, most of my “to read” stash was stored in matte boxes!
“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” - Anatole France
- In the summertime, I can’t help but feel more languid. I desire plunging into water, eating fresh blueberries, and reading in the park. When September rolls around, it’s like a light switch! Suddenly, I feel reinvigorated with can-do energy. I love creating a list of everything I’d love to see come to fruition and then take “one right next step” toward making them come to life.
- In 2019 I had a business coach who said that I’m great at romanticizing. At the time, that word was new to me + I resonated with it instantly. Today, it’s well embedded into my vernacular and I still take the time to add bits of my “fantasy” life into my day. Ex: Lighting candles as I stew sauce on the stovetop, going to the park to read by the river, swiping my favorite lipstick on to go on a coffee run. What life do you dream about? How can you add a piece of that life to your agenda today?
- This is a time of year that I love to review my annual State of the Union, or update parts of it that feel misaligned. Note: The State of the Union Editable PDF’s annual sale isn’t live, but if you reply to this email I’d be happy to send you the info needed to snag one. It’s only $33.33 + has been my trusted companion for going on 6 years.
- Now is the time of year where events seem plentiful as many of us bask in that “back to school” energy! What rooms would you love to be in? Search for sign up links + introductions.
✨ Swirling pumpkin spice syrup into our coffees.
✨ Cracking open a fresh notebook + making a list of our dreams on the first page, citing at least one way each you can manifest them.
✨ Finding a tangible way to help support a cause you feel connected to in your community.
✨ Grabbing lunch outside or eating a dinner at spot with sidewalk seating.
✨ Turning off your overhead lights, burning candlesticks, and swaying to Nina Simone on the record player while whipping up coq au vin.
✨ Finding the warmest day on the calendar + heading to the beach for a plunge as the sun sets.
✨ Sorting through your clothes and donating anything that no longer fits to your local women’s shelter.
✨ Creating a list of things you love to do on the fleeting warm days.
✨ Going through your closet to prepare for the new season.
✨ Digging into the last of your “beach reads” pile.
✨ Going for a meandering walk + talk with a friend.
✨ Painting flower watercolors.
✨ Freezing any whole tomatoes for a fresh sauce this winter.
✨ While we’re at it, enjoying the last of the summer berries.
✨ Making sure you’re registered to vote!
Row 1: The Nude // Scaffolding // Entitlement // The Secret History
Row 2: Intermezzo // The Candid Life of Meena Dave // Blue Sisters // The Guest List
Row 3: The Lightning Bottles // The Bell Jar // Normal People // Educated
Row 4: The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store // Delicious! // Family Lore // Coming to My Senses
“Don’t talk to strangers, or you might fall in love.”
This article felt like a hug.
For sensual ways to change up your rituals…
For creating your own affirmations…
Issue #5: The One Where She Speaks to the Waves
Tips for nurturing friendships into adulthood…
Issue #21: Nurturing Friendship in Adulthood
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Omg love this!